“If you work hard, you’ll succeed.”
“You have to work hard to get ahead in life.”
“Work sick.”
“Nothing worth having comes easy.”
“You get what you work for.”
These are just a few of the things that I heard growing up. The theme was, if you truly want to succeed in life, you’ve got to work HARD, even when you are sick.
I understand the place this comes from. It comes from the desire to see your children, students or mentees succeed in life; to reach their goals and go farther than ever before.
But is it the absolute truth?
When it comes to money, these themes are tied directly and inexplicably. We feel like we can’t just trust that money will come into our life. We have to work really hard to get it.
I’ll be the first to say that I took these teachings to heart. They stood me well during high school and college. I worked hard. I went to school sick. I got good grades.
I took this with me right into my career as an accountant. I sometimes worked 12–14-hour days. A few times I pulled all-nighters. I was proud that I never took a sick day. Not because I never felt ill, but because I pushed myself through it and went to work.
I earned promotions, I got raises and bonuses. Soon I was making 6-figures.
So…. the teaching felt correct. Hard work = success AND money.
But what if that wasn’t the truth? What if our success and money isn’t tied to how hard we work?
One of the things I teach is that money likes flow, it likes an easy path. When we aren’t struggling with it, it will find us. We can TRUST that it will show up for us.
This is completely counterintuitive to what we are taught. We are taught that work is what brings us money. We are taught the harder we work, the more successful we will be. But even those that taught us this probably weren’t rich. They might even have been struggling to make ends meet.
I 100% trust that money is going to show up for me. I don’t worry about the economy crashing. I don’t worry about what the stock market does to my IRA. I don’t even follow a budget most of the time.
I trust my intuition. I trust myself with money. And I trust money itself. And money trusts me.
Now, I can hear you right now. You are saying, “but Sherry that is you, I’m not you. It isn’t that easy for the rest of us.” Stick with me here. I promise it can be.
When you are feeling like you just can’t trust that money will show up, there are things you can do to shift out of that. Things that you can practice that will become second nature, so that when you feel the mistrust and uncertainty coming in about money, you can shift out of it quickly.
Look at your past history with money. I’m betting that you are reading this right now with a history of money showing up for you. I encourage you to think back and look for examples of how money has shown up for you. Here are a few of my own that happened in the last 12 months.
- An unexpected bonus from my PT job just when I had to buy a new washing machine.
- An unexpected check from my oil & gas shares that covered my hair color appointment.
- An unexpected client that covered unplanned travel to West Virginia.
Now it’s your turn! Look at your history and look for ways that money has shown up just when you need it. This exercise will increase your trust in money for sure AND it will show you that work probably isn’t tied to every cent you have!
Let go of attachment to the source of your money. A lot of times, I’ll find myself thinking my money HAS to come from a certain place. I become attached to thinking I want more money and I want it to come from xxx. The thing is, money is free flowing already, so when we become attached to one way for money to flow, we essentially block the free flow of money.
On the other hand, if we detach from our own expectations and just trust that money will flow to us, we open up the pathway for ease and unblock the flow! Here’s an example.
A couple of years ago, I was working my business and my part-time job. I wasn’t making much money as a care-taker for an elderly lady and I needed more money to come into my life.
For several months, I put pressure on myself and worked really hard trying many, many things in my business. I wrote articles, I did live streams on social media (which I HATE with a passion), I wrenched content out of every corner of my brain, but I wasn’t earning any additional money.
I was getting too invested and attached. Not only was I attaching to the need for more money from my business. But I was also attaching my personal self-worth to the results I was getting from that hard work. So, my business coach encouraged me to detach a little. To ask myself what if and look for possibility. I agreed to try.
Within just a few days, I had a voice-mail about a new part-time job using my accounting skills and paying me 5 times what I was making as a care-taker, for the same hours! When I let go of the attachment, the money came from a different source! And honestly, the work was easier, not harder!
Now it’s your turn. Look for ways you are attaching to the source of money and try taking a few steps back from it. See if you can open yourself up to the possibility of money coming from anywhere.
Ask yourself how you want to feel about work and money. One of the things we do wrong in building trust with money is forgetting to count our emotions. How we think and feel about things goes a long way to creating ease and flow.
I think the best place to start here is by looking at how you currently feel about it. Here are a few questions to get you started.
- How do you feel about your income right now? Is it a positive feeling or negative?
- How do you feel about the work you are doing? Does it feel like too much or too hard?
Once you’ve identified how you feel right now, it’s time to ask yourself how you want to feel about these things.
When you know where you are and also where you want to be on that “feelings” scale you can begin to move yourself toward where you want to be. Here is an example from my own life.
I have health insurance that doubled in price for 2021. When I learned in mid-December that this was happening, I got really angry and resentful. Bah humbug! Why should I get an increase when I haven’t even used the stupid insurance! Then I spiraled into, where am I going to get the extra money for that? Does this mean I’m going to have to give up something I love, just to pay for stupid health insurance? Am I going to have to work extra hours (harder)?
This was not a very pleasant place to be. It wasn’t productive and it certainly wasn’t making me feel good about money. I was thinking I’d have to work harder in my business or extra hours in my part-time job to make up for the increase. Once again, I was attaching my money and my work. Ugh.
In order to shift out of those feelings, I go back to my first exercise and remind myself that money shows up. In fact, I already know where the money for this is coming from. About the same time, I got the increase notice, I ALSO got a notice that mom had a small annuity that will be split between my four siblings and me. It isn’t a huge amount of money, but it is enough to cover the health insurance increase.
It took me a few days of wallowing in my anger and resentment to make the connection. But once I did, the bad feelings receded and gratitude for money once again showing up at exactly the right time came through.
Once I felt that gratitude, I was able to get right back to my feelings of ease, flow and trust with money. And I didn’t have to work harder or longer hours.
It doesn’t matter what you learned as a kid, teen or adult about hard work and money. You have the ability to change that right now. You can start trusting that money will show up for you without having to work harder and longer.
It’s time that we all let go of those old beliefs and step into whatever level of income you want. It’s time to trust money and let it trust you. It’s time to not work so hard, but still make the money you want!
Sherry Parks, CPA, is a Money Mindset Coach who helps women escape feeling trapped by their finances. She is passionate about helping women change mindset, emotions and actions regarding money, so that they learn to keep what they have and generate more.
Check out her 5 Steps to a Better Money Story workbook or join her women-only Facebook group More Than Enough Money Sisterhood.
